Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Custodians

I received a text last night from a friend whose 2 year old daughter was being taken by ambulance to Vandy children's. The situation is pretty serious (insert plea for ongoing prayers here). I immediately took to praying, had Layla pray with me, and reached out to other friends to also pray for this sweet little girl and the family, of course.

When Layla and I were ready to say bedtime prayers, we did our usual I pray a line and she repeats, etc. After the "Amen" Layla wanted to say her own and have me repeat. I was so proud of my little girl's heart and love and it was a beautiful prayer - one so innocent and utterly trusting that I could never have said it on my own. Then, she wanted to KEEP praying...for a LONG time. And it was serious prayer, not just I'm praying right now because it's stalling me from sleep.

I spent much of the night up and down checking text messages, updates, etc. and continuing to pray. Fast forward to this morning...

I'm tired and still very much occupied with worrying about our friends and their little girl and still praying. I said to Layla, "We need to pray for them again." Layla said something to the effect of, "Ok, Momma, but I'm going to pray and you repeat." SHE WAS ADAMANT that SHE pray...NOT ME.

And pray she did!!

Her prayer brought me to tears - it was so genuine, sincere and just exactly what needed to be prayed. I love her.

Fast forward again....I'm at work sharing with my boss about what had transpired overnight and this morning and she reminded me that worry comes from a place of doubt and that I needed to TRULY give the ENTIRE situation to HIM. As I've thought more about it over the morning, God has revealed an amazing truth to me about our children......wait for it.....They aren't mine. I am a "mere" custodian. God was in Layla's heart and spirit this morning. She had to pray, because I could not. My prayers were tainted with worry...doubt. I wasn't in the right place- I was in a place of saying I'm giving control to God, but still holding on to control, of wanting to help, of worrying. None of that is my place. My place is to pray and only pray. Vigilantly.

My three year old taught me a lesson in faith this morning and I am humbled and thankful that God was in her, when I was weak.